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I just don't understand Anonymous Comments.

On the second to the last post I made, about the 7-year-old Paulinian, two anonymous people commented and told me to get my facts straight. I don't mind that. What pisses me off is that they're anonymous.

Which is why I am friend-locking this journal. I think that all of the people in my flist are brave enough to leave comments under their own usernames. If you can't take credit for what you say and what you believe in, then I'm better off not knowing you.

Comment to be friended!
...I also don't know where it came from. HAHAHA. Read and tell me if you like it. It's kind of... Haruki-ish. Only in his stories frogs are heroes and birds are wind-up.


You find the frog on the way home. You don't know why, but it's not like any other frog. Its slick skin looks like emeralds in the light. There's a gossamer sheen to its eyes that seem to look in all directions, all at once.

You take it home. You make a home for it in an old aquarium. Sometimes, you catch yourself talking to it. The frog's eyes, its three eyelids, blink back at you, you pretend that this is a response. Because of the makeshift terrarium's lighting, you can sometimes see its insides through the transparency of its skin, and somehow, this makes you happy.

The frog makes a desperate bid for its freedom, not just once, but twice.

On the second time, it succeeds. It leaps out of your hands as you hold it gently, watching the light glance off its skin, feeling the hurried thump-thump-thump of its minuscule heart. It leaps out of your hands and out your window, landing in your front yard, and it leaps for its life. Your eyes can only follow it sorrowfully as its powerful hind legs bring it farther and farther away. The frog never looks back.

The next day, the neighbor boy from across the street's mom comes over to talk to your mother. The neighbor boy, someone from out of town, someone new, someone even lonelier than you, found the frog.

He's grown attached, says the neighbor mom. lt is the kindest thing you do, handing over your terrarium to the neighbor boy's mom.

For days you sit by your window, unseeing. After a few days you realize that you've been hearing a trilling sound outside. You search for it.

It's a pretty bird, looking at you with bright eyes. Its plumage is bright blue, its tailfeathers a sunny yellow. It looks at you, curiously, with its bright, amused eyes. You see it during the day, but sometimes you also hear it at night.

But it's not your frog.

And yet everyday you find yourself at the window, looking up at it, hopping about on its branch, song soaring above your head.

It's a pretty bird, but it's not your frog. Sometimes you climb the tree to look at it closer, and it lets you. It lets you reach out a finger to tentatively stroke its delicate little head. Sometimes you admire the fine bones you see underneath its wing feathers.

But it's not your frog, your bright green frog, the frog that's now the neighbor boy's, if only out of the generosity of your heart. It's not your frog, and because of that, you limit yourself to looking, and sometimes holding the warm little feathered being in your child's palms. You fall asleep with its trilling, lilting song still in your ears.

You can't bear to cage it, and so you live with the knowledge the someday it will fly away, because although you have tamed it, it is still a free bird.

You are responsible forever, for what you have tamed,said the fox to the little Prince.

But it is still a free bird, and it is not your frog. So in the back of your mind, unacknowledged, is always the fear that you will come to lose it, in a much different and painful way than how you lost your frog. Know this fear and conquer it. Please, please fight it, before it becomes true.


"How can a bird that was born for joy, sit in a cage and sing?"

William Blake

A Sonnet + 1: 15 Lines from 15 Movies

Featuring: Audrey Hepburn, superheroes, teenage pregnancy, dancing, sex and money. Among other things.

Stolen from everyone who's done it already: 15 of my favorite movie lines from 15 of my favorite movies everrr.

1. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?

2. A heart is a fist covered in blood!

3. I'd kill to dance like that. It's like sex on hardwood.

4. Us Christian girls have got to learn to protect ourselves. I mean, sure Jesus could restore my physical and spiritual virginity, especially if I lost it to some rapist, but who wants that? I'm saving myself for marriage, and I'll use force if necessary.

5. Maybe your boyfriend's got mutant sperms. Knocked ya up twice.

6. You always want your feelings understood! But mine are childish! Sex isn't disgusting unless you make it disgusting! There can be beauty in this place too!

7. Throughout human history, we have been dependent on machines to survive. Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony.

8. We didn't get any coffee that you didn't want and I didn't order, and this is evidence of racial discrimination? Did you happen to notice our waitress was black?

9. I'm in love with you. And I'm in love with your beautiful woman. And I'm in love with your kids. And I'm even in love with your unborn child. I'm even in love with your anger! I'm in love with anything that lives!

10. I like a woman built for comfort, not for speed.

11. There's a ninety-five pound Chinese man with a hundred sixty million dollars behind this door.

12. I've never been alone with a man before, even with my dress on. With my dress off, it's MOST unusual.

13. There can't be a seventh Sixth Chick. It's just mathematically impossible. Besides you're way cooler than they are, they're totally unoriginal.

14. What are you supposed to do when the ones with all the power are hurting those with none? Well for starters, you stand up. Stand up and tell the truth. You stand up for your friends. You stand up even when you're all alone. You stand up.

15. Settle down, are you kidding? I'm at the top of my game! I'm right up there with the big dogs! Girls, come on. Leave the saving of the world to the men? I don't think so.

sleeps with butterflies

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Seriously, where the hell do you get this stuff?

Daddy's Rules for Dating  
Your dad's rules for your boyfriend (or for you if you're a guy):

Rule One:

If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're surely not picking anything up.  

Rule Two:

You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.  

Rule Three:

I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:

I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.'  

Rule Six:

I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. 

Rule Seven:

As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car? 

Rule Eight:

The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing or holding hands. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies that feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.  

Rule Nine:

Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.  

Rule Ten:

Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. 

NAME   _____________________________   DATE OF BIRTH   ____________

HEIGHT ________ WEIGHT _________ IQ __________ GPA _________

SOCIAL SECURITY #______________  DRIVERS LICENSE #____________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_____________________________________________________ 

CITY/STATE ____________________________  ZIP______  

Do you have parents?                     ___Yes  ___No
Is one male and the other female?     ___Yes  ___No
If No, explain: _______________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married _________________________________

If less than your age, explain:


A. Do you own or have access to a van?                      __Yes  __No

B. A truck with oversized tires?                                   __Yes  __No

C. A waterbed?                                                           __Yes  __No  

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back?                      __Yes  __No

E. A tattoo?                                                                __Yes  __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring,                            __Yes  __No 
  pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? 



In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you? 

In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER'  mean to you?

In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?


Church you attend ___________________________________________________  

How often you attend ________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

      father? ____________

      mother? ___________

      pastor? ____________


Answer by filling in the blank.  Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:


B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:


C: A woman's place is in the:


D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:


E. What do you want to do IF you grow up?


F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:


G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________________


Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)

_______________________________      ________________________________
Mother's Signature                                  Father's Signature 

_______________________________      ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/ Rabbi                                State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.  Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury).  If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might want to watch your back).

And we'll pray all damn day, every day
That all this shit our president has got us in will go away
While we strive to figure out a way we can survive
These trying times without losing our minds.

--Kimya Dawson

I think that I am one of those people who believe Lozada not out of any particular trust in him, but because it's a small way of rebelling against the government. So it's the "If you're not with us, then you're against us." mentality.

I am not a fan of the current people who are in a position of power. Watching anything political can either make me laugh or make me mad.

So I think it's a good idea that I didn't go to the rally. Because it's hard to fight for things that you don't whole-heartedly believe in. And I fight harder for the things I believe in.

Plus I fell asleep on the floor in front of Samboy's TV. :)) I love hanging out with TA friends! I will never look at ZanjoeToniSam in the same way again. :)) Also I cannot believe we fell asleep watching Fairly OddParents! New episode pa naman din.

I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I also believe that they're better than the alternative.

--Sam Black Crow, American Gods

Because I'm one of those bored procrastinators you always read about in the news (wait, what, no, not terrorists!), I will again indulge in one of these mad I-will-spill-my-secrets surveys.

39 Secrets About You.
(Stolen from marshMELO! Again!)
Be honest no matter what.

[One] Who was your last 3 texts from?
- ate mia, kurt, mom

[Two] Where was your default picture
- cravings. by guibee's lomo of laaav.

[Three] What's your middle name?
- agnes mary. orrrr felix.

[Four] Your current relationship
- single as Skipper (Barbie's lesser known younger sister)

[Five] Does your crush like you back?
- That is a very good question.

[Six] What is your current mood?
- easily amused.

[Seven] What color shirt are you
- blue and white (fight ateneo fight!)

[Eight] What's the color of your
nail polish?
- blue on the toes and (will be) gold on the nails (alaveet kp!)

[Nine] If you could go back in time and
change something, what would you change?
- a number of things, nothing immediately comes to mind, because right now i have no regrets.

[Ten] Where was the last place out of town, that you went to?
- Batangas.

[Eleven] Ever had a near death experience?
- When I was nine, I nearly drowned. And as Rixie always says, commuting is not for the faint-hearted because maaaan, dem Filipinos drive crazy! (But as she is now a driver herself, bet you she says dem Filipinos walk crazy!)

[Twelve] Things you do a lot?
- read. talk! whistle. listen to music. eat.

[Thirteen] Do you have a fondness for gnomes?
- not the harry potter kind. in fact. not at all. i like tolkien's elves though. i still want legolas. in a box. his hair looks really silky.

[Fourteen] Who can you tell anything to?
- Patch, Bea, Mandee, Alex, KP, Alysa, etc etc etc. The list is funny and kind of long and I really do talk to lots of people. :))

[Fifteen] Name someone with the same birthday as you?
- Regina Spektor, Matt Dillon, Yoko Ono etcetcetc my cousin-in-law Melina, my nephew Seth, and I am sandwiched between two baby cousins Dan(ielle) and Jat. ALAVEET.

[Sixteen] When was the last time you cried?
- last last week?

[Seventeen] Are you for or against capital punishment?
-  depends. if you're talking about damning a druggie who sodomized and murdered an old couple and then burned their house down, then i'm all for it. but if we're talking about the dad of four who was in the wrong place at the wrong time, then no, i'm not.

you have to think about who to kill before you agree to do it.

[Eighteen] If you could have one super power what would it be?
- flight. or invisibility. maybe invisibility is better, then i can sit on airplane wings.

[Nineteen] What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
- height. and build. and voice.

[Twenty] Who is your favorite celebrity?
- Natalie Portman.

[Twenty-one] What is a theory that you believe?
- Gravity exists and entropy is inevitable and unstoppable. I also believe that the world will end sometime and that the doomsday vault is actually a very good idea. I also approve most of the things on Sam Black Crow's belief system in Neil Gaiman's American Gods.

[Twenty-two] Favorite color?
- Silver. But blue and purple will do in a pinch. And yellow!

[Twenty-three] What is one thing that annoys you on TV?
- <strike>Shaina Magdayao</strike> Annoying talentless people, stupid commercials.

[Twenty-four] Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
- Yes. Since most of the people I watch most of the time are minors. (aka the Siblings.)

[Twenty-five] What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
- Coke. And I want some chocolate.

[Twenty-six] Do you speak any other language?
- Pilipino, a smattering of Japanese

[Twenty-seven] What's(re) your favorite food(s)?
- Melo's yogurt panacotta, vanilla ice cream, caramel lollipops, chocolate, wicked oreos and flamingwich from Flaming Wings, McDo fries.

[Twenty-eight] Describe your life in one word?
- kaleidoscop(ic)

[Twenty-nine] Have any tattoos?
- No. I haven't found anything permanent enough to want to wake up to it seventy years in the future.

[Thirty] What are you looking forward to the most?
- more books. seriously? tomorrow!

[Thirty-one] What are you thinking about right now?
-Coldplay songs

[Thirty-two] What should you be doing?
- several papers and extracurricular activities

[Thirty-three] Who was the last person that made you upset/angry?
- A group of them.

[Thirty-four] What are you listening to:
- Coldplay's Shiver, the acoustic version.

[Thirty-five] Do you like working in the yard?
- if we had one, I'd like stargazing in it. That's astronomy = work!

I have cacti. I do not have a green thumb.

[Thirty-six] If you could have any last name in the world, what would it
- I like my last name. My first name needs special last names to balance it out.

[Thirty-seven] Do you act differently around the person you like?
- I'm not supposed to. I don't think so. NORMAL IS RELATIVE!

[Thirty-eight] What is your natural hair color??
- dark brown

[Thirty-nine] Why did you cry last time?
- i hate seeing people i love cry. 

Birthdays first!



Blind Items next:

.uno You're really cute and I really kinda like you.
.dos Di hamak na mas maganda tayo sa kanila. OH PLEASE.
.tres - .cinco Unsurprisingly, .uno has trumped you all. Again. Although this is a different .uno than last time.


Um, I bought David Levithan's How they Met and Other Stories. ALAVEET.

He was the boy with the book. Always and forever.
--Neil Gaiman, One Life, Furnished in Early Moorcock

So yeah, this weekend I had enough money for a lomo and I was gonna go to Team Manila to go check it out, like Guibee practically ordered me too (haha, joke!)

But! A Different Bookstore was having their weird promo that took 20% off books so I ducked in and checked.

So I came out immersed in Murakami's After Dark, which is extremely readable. I highly recommend it, it is awesome. Weird. AWESOME. Anyway. I picked it over Palahniuk's Choke, which I am planning to have through the powers of Clarissa Monfort (who bought me Palahniuk's Haunted! Which is Great! If I did not have it! :<). And I picked After Dark over the Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, which I am planning to sproggle at the earliest opportunity via my mother. :))

You know that in A Different Bookstore they have signs encouraging people to rip the plastic off their books and read them? COOL!

And. And AND! I was at National Bookstore last night and they were having one of their usual sales with the books piled everywhere and crowds popping up randomly and. I saw Levithan and Holly Black and Terry Pratchett at extremely low prices. So I went crazy and started piling books into my arms. Daddy had something to say and took about two books out of the pile. But then I was all: EXAMS ARE NOT FOR ANOTHER FOUR WEEKS! And I might get exempted out of some, if not all!

Then he took out his credit card.

SO! The Librarinth has several new additions. And I am happy. Which is why I have not cried. And possibly will not. Because books are frieeeends. And I am happy.

B-but. I still want a Lomo! *pouts*

HAHA, I hope I have one in time for summerrrr.

the world spins madly on

Nineteen. And the ID numbers.

Ang sakit eh.

(I haven't cried yet)

I don't know how I can get this out without sounding bitter, so I'll just say it: To those who voted, and those who didn't, I hope you're happy with the choices you made. Because they'll spend the next year with you. And I guess some of people think she needs it more than I do, or I need it less.

I really think I could've done well in the position, but. I guess there are bigger plans for me.

(Hopefully, this includes acting next year. TA family!!!)

I love Ignacio. It's one of the best decisions I made. I will never regret choosing Ignacio, and choosing to run in this year's general elections. Thank you so much for everyone who supported me and Aikabel.

Thank you Aikabel. For making the decision to run. For sticking with me, through thick and thin, through sabaw and um, sabaw? :)) Even though I am perpetually late and distracted, you remained calm. You're the best running mate EVER.

The world's still spinning, and I guess it's my cue to spin with it.